my baby boy (the last of the Loneskys) went to his first day of preschool! In the busyness of our crazy lives, I didn't have time to process what this meant for me, a stay at home mom! My nest is now empty for about 3 hours, 4 days a week! After dropping him off (of course he didn't look back, he's the 4th child and very independent) I went back to my van and sat. My mind went blank! What do I do now??? There's no baby in my car! My to do list left my mind and I sat in my seat and sobbed! Where do I go from here? What do I do with myself? How do I function? My heart ached, my tears flowed, I couldn't catch my breath!
All I've ever wanted to be ALL of my life is be a mom, a stay at home mom just like my mother! That was my life ambition, however pathetic that may be! I wanted to raise little me's to be the best possible version of themselves. While my job as their mommy is far from over, I couldn't help but feel unneeded (I may have just made up a word). For the first time in 10 years, I didn't feel needed by one of my children.
After my little pity party, I realized that NOW is the time to find purpose in myself! To dream BIG, to pray for God's hand to guide my paths, to live out God's big plans for me, to NOT be average!!! Now is the time to find my identity, to learn, grow and be the best possible me! I may have 12 hours to do this per week, but mark my words, those 12 hours will be well spent, soul searching my God given purpose!
So mamas who dropped their babies off at school today and are feeling the same way that I did this morning....I want to encourage you to find PURPOSE in your life (not that raising our children isn't the single best purpose for us because it is)!!! What has God called you to do??? How can you move mountains??? How can you make a difference TODAY???
"Decide what to be and go be it!!!" ~Avett Brothers
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