These thought patterns stem from leaping from one deprivation diet to the next. I think I have tried pretty much everything on the planet. From keto, to Whole30, to entering into a body building competition, to fitnesspal. The meal plans were great. I saw results quickly. Until I slipped. That slippery slope would continue and oops, 30 pounds later I was back right where I started. Maybe even further than when I started.
God's call came one day when I was standing in the concession stand at my son's soccer game having a conversation with another soccer mom. I couldn't stop thinking about what I was going to eat when I got home. Popcorn? Ice cream? Vanilla cupcake goldfish? No judgment, please. They're yummy. Don't try them.
Obsession. These thoughts can't be right. Why can't I just stop? Why does food have such a stronghold on me?
Surrender. In that moment, God was calling me to give it all to Him. I didn't know what that looked like or how it would feel until I followed His prompting to take on a 3 day water fast. What happens when the thing I obsess about most is taken away? What happens when eating my next meal wasn't an option? Obedience, thanksgiving, presence in the here and now, joy, intention, humility.
I spent my days in God's word. The bible was the first thing I went to each morning. One day, He led me to Ezekiel 37:5 where God promised to breath life back into the dry bones of His people. "I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life." God's people had strayed. They set up idols in His place. They worshiped all the wrong things. I was guilty too. Food had become my idol. It had control over me, my thought life, my behavior, how I felt physically, how I perceived myself. Good day, I was good, beautiful, strong, faithful, courageous. Bad day, I was disgusting, fat, a slob, a failure.
I needed a change in perspective. I needed restoration and resurrection. God was calling me to die to self. To lean in and let go of the meal plan mentality that plays over and over inside my head. Letting go of all the rules that come along with those diets that often times leave me defeated. Begging me to give it to Him and believe that He is everything I need. He is enough. Always has been. Always will be.
Sister friend, I am not sure what God is calling you to lay down. What thing that is distracting you from who God calls you to be and how He calls you to live your life? What would it be like to be free of that burden?
Can I pray for you? Can we walk through this journey together? Surrendering all to Him, laying every other desire at His feet?
You are not alone!
You are loved, chosen, cherished, and created beautifully in His image alone!
That's nothing short of perfection right there!
Love you always,
Trudy
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