A New Decade, A New Creation

Sweet Sister in Christ,

As the the decade comes to a close and we embark on a new journey, can I challenge you to invite God to renew your heart, mind, body, spirit?

Some of you may pray for a word in 2020. A word that brings meaning, promise, purpose,  encouragement. Can I challenge you to pray about a new identity in Christ as well?

What does God call you?

God changed people’s names in the Bible too many times to count in order to help them form a new identity in Him.

What would it look like if our new identity in 2020 was God led and God breathed? 

God changed Abram’s name to Abraham which means “father of multitude.” Sarah, Abraham’s wife’s name was changed from “Sarai” to “Sarah” meaning “mother of nations.” Look at the promises held within these names. God promised that Abraham, although old and frail, a ripe old age of 100, the least likely to bare children, would be the father of many nations. 

He took the least likely, the sinners, the lowly, the weak, and promised newness within.

Take a look at the Apostle Paul, an integral pillar, church planter, and trailblazer for the early Chritisan church. He wrote at least 8, some say 13 books in the New Testament. Who was Paul before becoming an unapologetic, Christ follower, fisher of men? He was a murderer and persecutor of the very same Christians he would some day lead back to Christ. He was born to Jewish parents, a Roman citizen, and stood firm in his Jewish beliefs. Until God showed up. Isn’t that just like Him? To call the least likely? The most ironic person to further His kingdom. Paul was perhaps the most famous, dramatic conversion in the Bible.  

God wants to renew you as well, sister friend. 

We can’t and won’t stay here, in despair, disbelief, trapped in thoughts of unworthiness. When we lean on Him, His promises, His truths, His verbiage on who He sees us to be, we can take on any obstacle or disappointment that may come our way in 2020. Will you choose to find encouragement in Him?

In the last several days I have stumbled upon this verse several times. Sometimes (okay a lot of the time) I need to be knocked up side the head over and over to really, truly get it...God usually speaks to me in threes...maybe it takes three times for it to sink in. 

This verse is from 2 Corinthians 5:17 Amplified Bible version.

17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].

Girl, you are made new because Jesus lives within you. While completely and totally blameless, He was tortured, pierced, broken, beaten and nailed to a cross for that spiritual renewal within us. Will you grasp onto that? Accept His gift? Believe it? Live it?

2019 may have given you a sucker punch but 2020 brings spiritual renewal for those who believe.

The old is gone, cast as far as the east is from the west.

He promises newness within you.

Spiritual awakening, new life, new vision, new dreams, new adventures. 

We have a choice to wallow in unanswered prayers, disappointments, setbacks, and failures or to be redeemed by Him, His promises, His truths.

Will you dig deep with me?

Will you lean in? 

Get in the word?

Invite God to show you who He sees you being in 2020?

What does He call you?

What is your new name?

I cautiously want to share some of the words I have stumbled upon in the last couple of months. Please get in the word and find His names that He calls you, the ones that jump out of the page, and resonate deep within your heart, giving you chills. My words may be different than yours so do some digging on your own. Comment below with what He has shared with you in your quiet time.

These are the names that have resonated with me…

Fully known, deeply loved Psalm 139

Predestined, Ephesians 1:5

An heir, 1 Peter 1:4

Justified, Titus 3:7

Set apart, Jeremiah 1:5

Called, John 15:16

Qualified, Colossians 1:12

Chosen, 2 Thsessalonians 2:13

Glorified, Romans 8:30

God’s special possession, 1 Peter 2:9 

Renewed, 2 Corinthians 4:16

Reclaimed, Isaiah 43:1

Forgiven, 1 John 2:12

Redeemed, Isaiah 44:22

Here’s a little homework for you…

Get in His word. If you don’t have a quiet time already, please commit to doing so in 2020. I like to get up before anyone else wakes in the house, that ensures that my quiet time is truly quiet, and God can reveal Himself to my that day. Some good resources that I use are the Proverbs 31 Ministries First 5 app, YouVersion Bible App, and The One Year Chronological Bible. Grab a pen and a highlighter and wait with sweet anticipation that God will reveal your identity in Him for 2020. 

Stay deeply rooted, sweet sister. For when God is working the enemy is fighting against His good and perfect plan.

I love you so much and I am so excited to hear how God is working in and through you in 2020.

Here’s to feeling and living totally and completely loved, firmly planted in who He sees us to be in 2020!

Blessings,

Trudy 

Ye of Little Faith

I have 6 years of journal pages filled with frustration, sadness, disappointment, and striving to be thin.

6 years of the same cycle, the same madness.

You know the definition of insanity?

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

6 years of looking for the next best fix, looking for a diet that will be THE ONE. 

The one that will once and for all cure my issues with food.

Cold hard truth, sister friend, that doesn’t exist.

That void that I so longingly want to fill, the one I try and fill with food, a diet plan, exercise routine, striving for the next big goal, can only be filled by the One who was meant to bring me true, everlasting peace. 

Only God is meant to fill the deepest, darkest, empty spaces within our hearts. 

I’ve tried giving my food choices and body image issues to God before and failed.

Why? 

In the midst of letting go of the diet plan came weight gain, low self esteem, body image issues, more frustration, shame, guilt, and a need for the weight to disappear.

Then comes the next diet that looks like a good fit.

The one that promises to get me results and get it fast.

I have a choice in this pendulum swing, a choice to lean in or duck out.

Lean it to God, His plan, listening to my body, what I need, what hunger feels like and how to fill that hunger in a way that leaves me content, at peace, and full. Learning how to eat again without guidelines, rules, and restrictions…

OR let someone else tell me what to eat, when, how much, regardless of whether I am satiated in that food or not.

When I run to the next diet, I am essentially telling God that my ways are better, I can do it on my own, I don’t need Him.

I basically tell Him He isn’t enough.

Lack of belief in the past had me searching and striving yet again. 

Striving for worldly acceptance, a worldly body image, and worldly accolades.  

I’ve allowed this vicious cycle to continue...on again, off again, yo-yo, and rollercoaster ride after roller coaster ride, only to crash and burn and be right back where I started.

I am currently at the very same crossroads I've ventured in the past.

Will I choose to lean in or bail? 

Will I choose once and for all to let go and lay it down?

Will I choose to find peace in who I am, what my body looks like, and who He has created me to be?

Or will I continue to strive for what the world says is good, beautiful, healthy, worthy?

I choose peace.

For me and for my family.

I choose to let go of the diet plan because for the past 6 years my daughter has watched her mother loathe the image she sees in the mirror. She hears the names I call myself. She sees the constant need for more, that good is never good enough. This is a cross I never want her to bare!

I choose to let go because I cringe when my kids ask me if I can or cannot eat something. I want them to know that God has declared all foods clean and eating those foods is a choice that I get to make, not because a diet plan tells me I can or cannot have it. 

I choose to let go because going to bed hungry and not sleeping because of that hunger doesn't make me the best mother I can be.

I choose to let go because the lack of a period, numbness and tingling in my left arm, hair loss, and brittle nails is a sign that I have gone way too far. My body and it's organs are literally shutting down.

I choose to let go because it's stealing my joy, my focus and attention, and keeping me from the blessings God has gifted me with.

I choose to get it RIGHT once and for all because this burden can and will be taken from me when I stop the madness and let God work all things out for my good. A promise that He gives us all. 

I choose to let God fill my feelings of unworthiness with His biblical truths. He calls me chosen, set apart, redeemed, renewed, a new creation, fully loved, accepted, perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 

I will fight this battle. It promises to be a difficult one, but I will not battle alone. He is with me, for me, and is victorious if I let Him be. 

Dear Child, I Give You Permission to Fail

Dear Child, 

I give you permission to fail.

In fact, I insist that you do.

While that may seem cruel and unusual in our current culture of parenting, it’s my way of teaching you how to be a grown adult.

I will abstain from Pinteresting the best science project and recreating it for you. That is your job, not mine.

I will no longer bring you a forgotten lunch box, school project, soccer cleats, etc. You need to learn the consequences of your irresponsibility.  

I will no longer hover on the playground, intercede when you have a conflict with others, meddle in your friend circle, or pretend to be your best friend. I am not your friend, I am your parent whom you will respect. 

I will no longer coddle and protect beyond reason. You need to learn how to deal with disappointments and failures all on your own. 

In my vow to let go, there’s an opportunity for growth, learning, development, empowerment, awareness of self, and independence.  

An opportunity to help you see the world through a different lens.

An opportunity to discover your own unique you, outside of me.

A chance for you to explore your abilities and capabilities.  

Dear child, you are destined to do amazing things not because I do them for you but because God has made you for such a time as this.

If I continue to force my agenda in your life there is no opportunity for you to see your own God given, God breathed, God and Spirit led potential.

This promise comes out of love and surrender.

Giving your life over to you and your Creator.

Trusting that you will faithfully follow His plan and purpose in your life in every single thing that you do.

My sole/soul responsibility is to build a strong foundation in that faith alone.  

To lead you and point you to Him in our daily living which in turn will help you live a prosperous life built on a Rock and foundation that cannot and will not be shaken. 

There is only meant to be one Redeemer and Rescuer in your life and that is not me.

Loving you always,

Mommy

A Promise to My Future Self

Dear Trudy,

In an effort to call a truce with food, I need to promise you that I will NEVER take you on a crazy diet journey again.  

Nor will I get caught up in the shiny distractions of the next best diet or nutrition plan.

I will HONOR the feeling of being hungry and I will feed myself accordingly.  

I will not ignore biological hunger cues or deprive myself any longer. 

I will not eliminate any foods I love for the sake of a diet or a meal plan.

I promise to give you full permission to eat what you want at any time. You do not need to feel like you need to eat all the things because you won’t be able to have certain foods again. 

I will not calorie count, measure, or weigh my food. 

The scale no longer has control over my thoughts, joy, attention. 

I will love you, honor you, and accept you for who you are, not because of the image I see in the mirror, the number on the scale, or the validation I get from others.

Emotions and hormones will not send me to the pantry looking for a way to fill a void. 

Instead, I will recognize those emotions and deal with them in a way that doesn’t involve food as a means of comfort. 

This may include reading a book, taking a bath, listening to music, going for a walk, journaling, watching a movie with the family. 

I will commit to exercise for enjoyment not for a sense of validation or punishment for eating the wrong foods.

I will take captive any thoughts that will keep me from having a healthy relationship with food and body image.

Girl, you are strong, beautiful, intelligent.  You can do hard things. God gave you hunger cues and a unique body. It’s time to honor and glorify Him by taking care of yourself in a healthy way both mentally and physically. Let go...He's already battling for you and the victory is His.

Love,

Your Beautiful Self, Trudy

When Your Child Does the Terrible, Unthinkable

Dear Mama,

Ever get that call telling you that your child did the unthinkable???

The jaw dropping, nauseating, instant feeling of wanting to puke THING that you thought would NEVER happen.

Yeah, I got that call this past Wednesday.

I am here to tell you that your child's actions DO NOT define you as a person or a parent.

In the situation there is an opportunity to learn and possibly see the good.

Pray, mama.

Just pray that God lead you in the horrible, unthinkable.

That He would give you the words to say and the actions to take.

Cover your child in truth and scripture.

Girl, our kids are HUMAN and sometimes very impulsive.

Many times, I have expected my child to act like a 35 year old..."What were you thinking? Are you kidding me right now?"

Truth is they probably weren't thinking, their actions and behavior were too quick for a thought process to take place.

In this, there is GROWTH.

For you, your child and an opportunity to give the situation back to God, asking for forgiveness, redemption, mercy, and grace.

An opportunity to give the circumstance back to Him so that your child's dependence upon Him becomes bigger and stronger.

You are NOT labeled by your child's mistake.

You are NOT and were not meant to carry that burden.

Pray.

For your heart, your child's...that He would turn what the enemy meant for harm, into something so good.

Surround yourself with prayer warriors who know your heart, your child's heart and the intentions of it.

Those that know your heart will extend you mercy and grace....those that don't...they will be quick to judge.

Not your people.

The world today is so quick to be offended, pass judgment, and take sides.

Stand firm in who you are, the child that you are raising, and the values you as a family hold near and dear to your heart.

This too, shall pass.

In and through the journey is an opportunity to point ALL things back to Him.

Your sister in Christ,
Trudy

White Flag Tired

This mom, she's really, really tired. Tired of trying to measure up to the world's standards.  Tired of pushing myself to be something that God never intended me to be.

Society wants us to be successful, thin, beautiful, overworked, busy, and exhausted.

All the pressures to measure up to filtered instagram pictures and Facebook highlight reels.

Tired.

In fact, downright spent.

God has recently opened my eyes to see that love and acceptance of self must come from Him and Him alone.  When I strive for purpose and identity elsewhere, I will be mislead, misguided, leading me to squirrel paths and rabbit holes that will only leave me empty.

Over the years I have gone from one diet to the next, pushed my body through some crazy, intense workout regimens, competed in a body building competition, ran marathons and half marathons.

Why?

In search for approval from others, acceptance of myself, constantly trying to fill a void.  Trying to smother deep, rooted feelings of never feeling good enough.

While these goals are pretty epic feats, they continue to leave me striving.  Looking for more. That emptiness I feel, that need to feel wanted, unconditionally loved, accepted, supported can only come from one place.  My Creator. I need to find peace in the Trudy He sees when I look in the mirror.  Deep down inside, I want to believe that when He looks down on me, it's with a warm loving smile of unconditional approval.  The same way that I often look at my babies.

What happens when I lay it all down? The goals, the diet, body image, my entire life? When I see the world, my world, through the lens of Jesus.

Peace, joy, the gift of presence.

If I am honest, all this goal setting and searching for the best version of me, it has stolen the fruits of my spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control) and my focus, leaving me feeling like a distracted, epic failure.

When I continue to seek things outside of His will and purpose for my life, I fall short. The number on the scale is never good enough, the race pace could always be better, the diet could always  be dialed in a bit more.

I'm betting it's going to be a process.  A process of capturing any negative thoughts, crushing them with God's truths, and filling my mind with His biblical affirmations over and over again.

But in that, sister friend, there's victory.  Rewiring the brain, speaking God's truth over our thought processes rather than worldly lies that the enemy wants to plant and harvest.

Will you join me in surrender?

Will you get off that crazy hamster wheel that God never invited you to jump on in the first place?

Will you refuse to listen to the lies and embrace His truths?

You've got this!

We've got this!

Your Sister in Christ,
Trudy