As a small child my grown up dream was to become a mommy! Yes, that's it...a mommy!!! Some of you may think that that goal was extremely limiting! Not to me! My goal was to raise God fearing, happy, healthy children. I wanted to be the best possible mommy I could be and that was a learned behavior from my very own mom. She was a stay at home mom for 18 years! She never missed a field hockey game or a soccer game! My mom was there for our EVERY event, sporting the large sports picture pin on her lapel! She was a proud momma, still is! I wanted to experience that pride and joy I saw in my own mother's eyes!
When I became a mom almost 10 years ago I had just accepted a new job as a reading specialist in our local school district. It was a much coveted job, there were several applicants! I reluctantly accepted the job knowing in my heart that I truly just wanted to be at home with my baby. I gave birth to my son, Parker and in 6 short weeks I would have to attend orientation for my new job. Those 6 weeks flew by and before I knew it, I was heading to orientation. My mother in law drove an hour and a half to stay with Parker so I could attend. I was scattered, my mind not in the moment, I was thinking of my newborn son at home, exactly where I wanted to be, holding him. I cried all the way home. I knew what I had to do! I resigned!
Tim was in residency making next to nothing, staying at home would be a sacrifice! We would have to pinch pennies, eat Ramon noodles, and find ways to cut our expenses including selling our second car. We shared 1 car! Tim would take the bus to work when I absolutely needed the car and most days I would be at home stranded with no way to go anywhere. It was a sacrifice!
Over the next 8 years and 4 children later I had completely lost myself in my children! I was perfectly content, or at least I thought I was, forgoing my needs for my children! I felt that if I were to take any time whatsoever for myself it would be selfish! I wanted to give my children and my husband my ALL, my very best! What did that look like? I ate after everyone else was finished, I showered at the end of the day because there was no time (at least I thought there was no time) during the day to shower. I would much rather cook, clean, take my children to the park then take care of myself, even my own personal hygiene! Gross, right?!?! Moms I know you can relate!
It was in April of 2013 when I stepped on the scale at my husband's office and I saw a number that terrified me!!! A number that I had NEVER seen before! At that VERY moment I decided that something had to change! I was going through the motions of life, taking care of those around me and forgetting about myself!
It wasn't until that AHA moment that I began living!!! I didn't realize that once I took care of myself, I could take care of those around me so much better! I began eating right, exercising, and taking pride in my own personal appearance. My relationships around me began to change! My mood changed! My priorities aligned...God, marriage, children!!! The priorities God wanted for me! Once I put God first in my life, the rest fell into place! I spent 8 years of worshipping the wrong god, my children!
So my message to you, if you have made it this far, is that you are worthy, MOM!!! YOU ARE!!! You are worthy of taking care of yourself! You are worthy of personal time! You are worth the time, money, investment to find YOURSELF!!! You are not so and so's mommy....YOU ARE YOU and God put you on this planet for a reason and with PURPOSE!!! I challenge you to GO find your purpose today!!!
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